Fasting Helps Me Feast
Note 1: This reflection on fasting is not intended for those struggling with disordered eating or who are entrapped in cycles of guilt because of food. If this is you, please know God’s deep, unending love is yours – have grace for yourself, and please seek help. (you can start here: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/)
Last week, I fasted until dinner one day. It was a feat for me who finds comfort and enjoyment in consuming food and drink. When I’m aggravated with my child, with work, with my schedule, even with my body, I often turn to food. Maybe it’s a pile of tortilla chips, chocolate cookies, or pickles, but I’m not feasting…I’m numbly stuffing. It’s not joyful, it’s not mindful, it’s not an act of gratitude.
One of my long-time friends saw a link between her eating habits and her spiritual life, so that when the scales tipped she would immediately ask questions about her heart and God – not about the eating habits themselves. This insight made me curious. Did I set aside the Bread of Life – Jesus Himself – and turn instead to meeting my physical needs? (John 6:35).
Fasting forces me to realize that most other days I accept without critical thought that the fulfillment of my physical needs will lead to contentment and peace.
I think this is typical today: we want to be comfortable to be content; we want to be prepared to be at peace. We have the ability to meet our physical needs – even the tiny, petty ones – and it gives us a sense of control and abates our anxiety. But the needs never end and nothing tends toward simplicity (have you noticed?), so we run ourselves ragged, then self-soothe…with ice cream.
You may have heard of people experimenting with “intermittent fasting” or others fasting for gut health, but fasting as a spiritual discipline may be new to you. So, why do it? It’s mentioned in the Bible, but often alongside “sack cloth and ashes” and we don’t often see those expressions anymore.
"Why fast?" I asked one of my wisest friends, and she texted back this:
Short answer: to declutter spiritually
Long answer: to step back from my go-to comforts and recalibrate my dependence on Jesus as my comfort, solace, complete fulfillment. To simplify life and name addictions that lead me to worship the gift rather than the Giver…
In the book of Joel, we read:
In the Psalms, King David says that fasting humbled his soul (Psalm 69:10).
Fasting – for reasons both practical and mysterious – is an act of voluntary deprivation in order to seek God and humble self.
The humbling is the part that makes me want to bolt. The excuses abound when I pencil in a day to fast, because I really don’t like being humbled.
Fasting makes me feel weak, sad, and tired; but less angry. It makes my thoughts fuzzy. I rarely “hear” God better even though I intend to. Sometimes, I find myself making excuses to break the fast a bit early, but just as often I feel my soul growing more quiet. Sometimes, I find myself grappling with my purpose on earth, sometimes, I sense my purpose more plainly. Ultimately, I feel deep in my bones, in a way I never do otherwise, that I am limited and finite. That I really am weak.
It’s an uncomfortable (but honest) feeling to be so profoundly aware that your existence is completely vulnerable.
And then I break the fast.
Last week, I teared up when I ate dinner after fasting for the day. I felt so grateful for God’s provision. Even though I didn’t hear a specific answer to my prayers while fasting, it did realign me:
The effects of voluntarily choosing the humbling act of fasting are significant. I find that I can really feast afterwards. I can revel in God’s goodness and provision.
If you’re going through the motions this holiday season, wishing to feel deeper gratitude and dependence on God, consider trying a fast of some kind: a meal, a day, a few days, a liquid fast, or a fast from dessert, alcohol, or social media.
May we experience feasting, be moved with gratitude, and celebrate God as the source of our fullness this season. Amen.
Note 2: There is a Biblical precedent for feasting to trump fasting. This means pause your fast to celebrate the birthday of your nephew and eat the cake, guilt-free.
Note 3: Questions about fasting? Want to process this idea further? Contact a staff member from your campus:
👇
- Birmingham: Jenny Warns | jenny.warns@kensingtonchurch.org
- Clarkston: Lindsey Nartker | lindsey.nartker@kensingtonchurch.org
- Clinton Twp: Danielle Hammer | danielle.hammer@kensingtonchurch.org
- Orion: Susan Welsh | susan.welsh@kensingtonchurch.org
- Traverse City: Brent Swensen | brent.swensen@kensingtonchurch.org
- Troy: Cory Hendrickson | cory.hendrickson@kensingtonchurch.org