Faith And The Family

Ann Wilson

Ann Wilson

Co-Founder, Author, Radio Host

Our KKids staff has worked hard to bring encouragement to families throughout the pandemic with free, online Faith and the Family events. Their final – truly a finale – event was last week featuring our own Dave & Ann Wilson, Kensington co-founders, former teaching pastors, and recent best-selling authors. It was wonderful to have them back to share with our community their wisdom on parenting based on their book, No Perfect Parents.  Here’s an excerpt from Ann’s guest post on Ann Voskamp’s blog about a low parenting moment and the grace God gives to all of us imperfect parents.

from No Perfect Parents:

Hmm, where is Dave? I thought he’d be home by now.

Horseplay and roughhousing had begun to ramp up in the family room. It was getting loud.

“CJ, we need to practice your spelling words for your test tomorrow. Let’s go to the kitchen to do it away from the distractions.”

For the next thirty minutes, CJ and I went over each word with painstaking slowness. He was distracted by everything, while I was distracted by Dave’s absence.

Officially, I was starting to get mad. Dave should have been home hours ago. Why hasn’t he called? Why am I doing this all by myself yet again?

CJ was trying to knock the saltshaker over with the edge of his eraser. We had been on the same dumb spelling word for fifteen minutes. This was not going well.

Where is Dave?

“CJ, come on. Pay attention! Let’s get this word right this time. How do you spell _______?

Just as the question had left my lips, his eraser achieved success and the saltshaker tipped over, spilling salt all over the table. That’s it! The screaming and salting and waiting and trying—it was suddenly all too much.

“Ohhhh myyyy goshhhhhh!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

And without thinking, I swung my leg back and kicked the wall as if I was David Beckham kicking the winning goal for the Olympic gold. The impact was surprisingly fierce for my size, and my foot was successful in pounding a hefty hole in the kitchen wall.

It was less successful in being retracted out of said hole; that is to say, it stayed there, stuck in the drywall.

Mom kicked a hole in the wall!

You know how you often can’t scream loud enough to get your kids to come to you? Well, my three suddenly attentive fans ran to where I was in the kitchen, watching my every move as I awkwardly tried to unhinge my foot from the broken array of drywall that had entrapped it in shame.

Shock and astonishment radiated from their faces alongside fear and wonder, as if to say, How could this miracle have been accomplished by our mere and mortal mom?

Shame, guilt, fear, and horror began their treacherous group ascent to my mind, carrying with them ample supplies of accusations. Their cleated boots of unworthiness dug into my soul, piercing me with each step.
What kind of mom are you?
What kind of mom could lose her temper like that?
What will your kids remember about you?
What will this do to mess up your kids?
You are a failure!

I heard it over and over in my head. I felt a sense of panic as I quickly realized that Dave, my husband (and my pastor), would be walking through the door at any minute. What would I tell him?

My mind was racing when a brilliant thought surged through the middle of the pack. I sprinted up the stairs two at a time, searching for the box of leftover wallpaper. Yes! Whipping the scissors out of the kitchen drawer, I began to cover up the crime scene before “Pastor Dave” walked in the door.

Then he did. And, all three boys rushed to him with glee. “Dad, you won’t believe what happened tonight! Mom is wayyyyy stronger than we thought!”

“What do you mean?” Dave looked questionably at me, innocent curiosity twinkling in his eyes. I could feel my face redden with shame. Then like a perfectly trained musical trio, all three boys blurted out the truth in simultaneous, harmonious merriment: “Mom kicked a hole in the wall!”

And there it was…Mom Guilt & Shame.

I apologized to the boys telling them that I was wrong to lose self-control, wrong to not handle my anger more constructively, and I reassured them this had nothing to do with them or spelling words. I asked them to forgive me, and as most kids do, they each promptly reassured me of their love and forgiveness.

Looking back, I regret my nights of shame…feeling like a failure, and even comparing myself to the mythic perfect mom. There are no perfect parents and there are no perfect kids! But there is a Perfect One who is cheering us on and offering grace!

The Bible says to take every thought captive. Jesus said, if you are weary and heavy laden, come to him and he will give you rest. The boys forgave me quickly, but I had a hard time forgiving myself.

I’m thankful for grace. I’m thankful for Jesus who forgives my many mistakes and gives us do-overs. I’m thankful for a husband that can laugh with me (later) at my not-so-perfect parenting.

I’m thankful for a God that will take my shame, fear, and guilt, and remind me (and you) to rest in the comfort of His forgiveness.

I’m thankful for His resurrection power that prompts me to lay everything at his feet as he walks with me each and every day.  (And…I’m thankful for wallpaper!)

More Faith and the Family Events

Did you miss any of the other online Faith and the Family events? Watch (or rewatch) these for encouragement and practical tips.

Faith Habits in the Family | September 24, 2020
Several Kensington staff couples shared practical tools and habits to lead families into deeper connection with Jesus. Watch here.

Coping with Anxiety and Stress | October 22, 2020
Jack Wilson led a conversation about helping kids of all ages cope with stress and anxiety. Watch here.

Raising Godly Girls | December 1, 2020
The KKids team tackles the topic of raising godly girls with families. Watch here.

Raising Godly Boys | January 31, 2021
Kensington Leaders and experts weigh in on nurturing boys to become the men God created them to be. Watch here.

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Clarkston

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Birmingham Campus

We are offering a time for our congregation to gather after the 10am service for prayer in the Groves Auditorium, 20500 W 13 Mile Rd, Beverly Hills, MI 48025.

On Sunday evening, Dec 5, parents of high school and middle school students are invited to the second half of our Edge gathering at Genesis Church, 309 N Main St, Royal Oak, MI 48067, at 6:15pm. We will have a breakout to equip parents in caring for themselves and processing pain with their children in times of tragedy.

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Parents – self care is critical. It’s important to do your own processing with another adult so that you can be more present as your child processes. Here are tools that you can use to get you started.

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Counselors Are Needed After Tragedy

“The aftermath of the Oxford shooting tragedy will undoubtedly result in traumatic symptoms and experiences across our communities for quite some time. Healing the brain through evidence-based therapies is absolutely possible with clinical guidance. There is a valuable village of Trauma Therapists with collective resources standing by for Oxford, for both direct and secondary survivors to engage in therapy. Until then, we honorably hold a sacred space, as students, families, staff and school partners continue to mourn.” -Laura Azoni, LMSW, Founder of Sanctuary Services

Orion Campus

We believe that unity at this time is more important than ever. Several churches in the area are partnering together to offer space for students to begin the process of healing.

We will have several grief and trauma specialists on site this Sunday evening at our Orion Campus (4640 S Lapeer Rd Lake Orion, MI 48359) from 5-6:30pm and will have a night of prayer, worship and an opportunity for students to process with each other.

Tate Myre Funeral:
Monday, 12.6 Visitation 1 to 8pm
Tuesday, 12.7 Visitation 10-12pm and funeral at Noon

Clinton Township Campus

We will be offering a time for our congregation to gather after each service for a time of corporate prayer in the Greatroom. Prayer will be offered at 10:15 am and 12:15 pm. (25000 Hall Rd, Charter Twp of Clinton, MI 48036)

This Sunday at 3:30 pm as a community we want to gather, pray and mourn together. We are all looking for answers and wondering why tragedy happens but we can find hope and peace in Jesus. 

Troy Campus

Join us Sunday night, December 5th for a Community Prayer Vigil at Kensington Church at 6:00 pm. Invite friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers to come together for a time of hope and prayer. 

Following the Vigil, at 7:00 pm, there will be breakouts for students and for parents to process and be equipped in caring for themselves and those around in times of tragedy.

Marriage Classes

What grows marriages? Focusing on the two of you and being in community!
The Marriage Course includes seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. Some couples do the course to intentionally invest in their relationship, others are looking to address more specific challenges. Either way, the course offers essential tools and practical ideas to help you build a relationship that lasts a lifetime. The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles but designed for all couples with or without a church background.

Please email marriage@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

Financial Peace University (FPU)

Financial Peace University (FPU) is a catalyst to help people live in financial freedom and enable them to have a posture of openhandedness. We have witnessed numerous Kensington families experience life change as a result of applying Biblical truths to their personal finances. The real blessing is seeing people create lives of margin that allow them to hear and respond to the Lord’s calling on their lives.

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

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Whether you are brand new to the Bible or have been reading it for decades, Bible Basics is a course that will help you understand the overall flow of the Bible. Over the course of several weeks, learn how the Bible came from the original writers to the English versions we have today. We’ll look at the big-picture story of the Bible and how all the individual books add to the whole. We’ll even learn a little about the history of the Jewish nation. But most of all, we’ll grow in our awe of the amazing author of this amazing book!

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

All Campus

Clarkston

Clinton Township

Orion

Alpha

What is my purpose? What value does the Bible have in my life? How do I pray? How can I grow in confidence to share my faith? These are the big questions that are at the heart of what it means to have a relationship with God. Alpha is a space to explore life’s big questions, to say what you think and to hear other people’s points of view. Over ten-weeks you will explore and discover while listening to weekly topics, participating in table discussion, and developing community. Alpha courses meeting in-person gather around a meal.

You don’t have to come for the whole series—just check it out for the first session and see what you think. No pressure.

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

All Campus

Orion

Troy

Clinton Township

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GROUP LEADER DEVELOPMENT

Together Again

updated June 23, 2021

It’s been life-giving to be in-person for our weekend services since last July when we reopened. If you haven’t yet, we invite you to join us in person sometime soon.

Reservations and ticketing have been discontinued at all our campuses.

Masks are optional at all services, events, and ministry gatherings for kids, students, and adults. We know that everyone needs to make the right health decisions for themselves and their family, so if you feel comfortable removing your mask, you may. And if you’d like to continue wearing a mask or face covering, you may do that as well. This is a personal choice that only you can decide what is best for yourself when attending in person at Kensington.

If you are sick, are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms, or have possibly been exposed to COVID-19, please plan to stay home and participate in our services via our many online streaming options.

At the start of the pandemic, Kensington’s Executive Team commissioned a group of staff members as a COVID Task Force to establish protocols and procedures for the safety of our church community. Thanks for sticking with us throughout all the changes and adjustments over the past 15 months.

We’re grateful to be together again!