Reconciled With My Brother

On November 6, 2022, Sam Anderson stood in front of Kensington’s Orion campus and gave a powerful sermon in which he challenged us to reach out to someone who has been discarded and forgotten.

In that moment, Jesus spoke to me. I remember saying “Really, Jesus?” Because I did NOT want to do what He (and Sam) were urging me to do. I had put my strict boundaries up for a reason and felt comfortable and safe with them there, keeping my brother at a distance.

I promised myself I would always follow when I heard or felt a nudge from Jesus. So, I picked up my phone during service – as Sam gave us time – and with shaking hands and tears streaming down my face, I sent a text message to my mother and invited her and my father, and asked her to invite my brother as well, to church with us.

My brother had struggled with addiction throughout his life and because of that, I had cut him out of my life. There is much more to that story, and much regret on my end, as I missed out on so much time – thinking I was protecting myself and my family. I didn’t know what was in store in the years to come, but God knew.

On April 30, 2024, less than two years after that pivotal service, we suddenly, unexpectedly, and tragically lost my little brother. It was not due to drugs or suicide. It has taken me months to type this simple message out. But I have so much gratitude for Sam’s words and God’s prompting; I did not know that I was getting such a gift that day in church in November of 2022.

I have many photos – each one a moment gifted to my family and me – of my precious little brother and his two sons in his final year and a half.

Because of that day, I was able to reconnect with my brother, and we were able to spend Thanksgivings and Christmases together, and I was able to get to know and love my newest nephew Lucas and reconnect with my nephew Nicholas…I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for the prompt to reconcile with my brother and to share time together while he was here with us.

On the day of my brother’s burial, I was driving to the cemetery, Great Lakes National Cemetery in Holly, after setting up for the luncheon (read: running nonstop for two days; his viewing being the previous day). I had ten minutes to myself. Everyone else was at the cemetery waiting while I was putting the final touches at the luncheon hall. As I drove, I had Family Life Radio 93.1 on – it was just background noise as a million things ran through my mind: Did I get enough soda? Did I tip the caterer? etc., etc., etc.

My ear suddenly tuned in as the radio host talked about siblings and their importance. How siblings shape us into who we are, no matter what the relationship is. He spoke of the story of Joseph and his siblings, and how in the end, forgiveness and reconciliation marked their relationship.

I turned the radio up and pulled over. A man called in, and said that he had recently begun to listen to Christian music because his sister got him into it. He said he was lost in his life, but through his sister, he found grace through Christian music and especially this song. The song was “Amazing Grace: My Chains are Gone” by Chris Tomlin and the station played it then and there.

My chains are gone


I’ve been set free


My God, my Savior has ransomed me


And like a flood His mercy rains


Unending love, Amazing grace

I have never, ever in my life, been more certain of anything. My brother was with Jesus and they wanted me to know.

My heart had been in so much turmoil that our relationship was on-and-off and I worried if he had felt loved by me. That moment, that song, brought me so much peace.

I joined Grief Recovery at Kensington last month. I am so blessed to have the church through this time of grieving.