On Prayer
Does prayer work? Skeptical friends want to know. Let’s be honest, we all want to know.
When I was an earnest middle-schooler, I believed prayer worked and was almost superstitious about praying through a lengthy list of names. If I didn’t, would God still protect them?
In my twenties, I often thought of prayer theoretically – which didn’t lead to practicing prayer more – and was bewildered by these questions:
- If God is sovereign, why does He need my prayers to bring about His plan?
- If God is good, why does He allow despair, darkness, and death when we’ve prayed for His will to be done?
And more recently, I have been battling a lack of desire to pray – or more specifically to be vulnerable about my feelings – and an inability to stay focused. I can’t really pray, without facing and peeling off all the things I’m feeling and fearing and sometimes that nakedness before God feels scary. and then there are all the “chattering monkeys” and to-do lists that distract. In Upon Waking, author Jackie Hill-Perry says, “…the length and consistency of the prayer suffers under the weight of a mind that’s completely uncomfortable with boredom.” That’s true of me – you too?
Does Prayer Work?
This question is focused on the outcome. We pray because we have a specific need or want and we measure the prayer based on the outcome – was it a “wish granted” or a positive “return on investment”? You’ve probably heard that prayer is more about building a relationship with God, about the back and forth of conversation, and about intentionally being in His presence. For me, prayer also makes me face myself from His perspective (always loving, often convicting), so that I am clear-eyed to then “see” Him. Prayer is an unveiling. William Blake has a famous quote that applies so well:
We become what we behold.
When Prayer Didn’t Work
I keep typing and deleting and retyping right here, because this is hard, friends. If you have had a prayer go unanswered – a really important, precious prayer – then the idea of prayer is gut-wrenching or even infuriating. How do we turn back to God and bring Him our raw selves again when we’ve been disappointed and heartbroken? I don’t even know…but I believe we can bring Him every emotion and that it is a “right” sacrifice to put before him our anger, hopelessness, and pain.
Pray In Every Emotion
I remember reading this verse and realizing that my tears were precious to God:
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. -Psalm 56:8
Not just holy, pious tears. The ugly crying too. Every single emotion within this human experience is something we can share with God. He doesn’t just tolerate it. It is a right sacrifice
This week, I am lamenting, or mourning and grieving, in prayer. There are seasons of anger – pray angry. Seasons of fear and jealousy and pride, pray in and through all of them.
Internal Obstacles To Prayer
How do I make prayer my “normal”? I feel called to be “zealous in prayer” in 2025, but have found it challenging to carve out real time to wrestle and pour out my heart to God.
I am only a few chapters in, but the book, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools has been profoundly encouraging and insightful. Author Tyler Staton shares several reasons why we don’t pray, and these three resonated:
1. We don’t want to be naive.
Prayer can’t be mastered. It always means submission. To pray is to risk trusting someone who might let you down. To pray is to get your hopes up.
2. We don’t want to risk silence.
…and in that quiet, what if there turns out to be very little to just us and God.
3. We don’t want to do it wrong.
I’m not eloquent. I’m not confident. I’m not comfortable. I hear other people pray out loud, and it only furthers my insecurity.
Pray Anyway
“By praying, we learn to pray,” said theologian Richard Foster. And Mother Teresa instructed:
If we really mean to pray and want to pray we must be ready to do it now.
When I read those words, it made me pause. I want to learn all I can about prayer, but I don’t want it to become theoretical again – it’s something to practice. I closed my book and prayed.
Even now, pause and pray? Your prayer can be angry. Your prayer can be simple. Your prayer can be awkward. Your prayer can be distracted. Let’s just turn to God whoever we are, with whatever we have, speaking or silent, and give Him our attention, our time, our worries, ourselves.
Join our Kensingon-wide James 5:16 Prayer Movement by texting “in” to 248-781-2771. You’ll receive a daily prayer prompt from us through February 22, 2025. Imagine what the Lord will do when we commit to pray together!