Blended Family: Rom-Com Turned Reality TV

Terry Barnett

Terry Barnett

Before the dust settles, the exciting search for new love begins. We are convinced they married the wrong person. The only logical thing to do now is to move on and find a new person to fill the void. Maybe his heart was longing for that person in the office or perhaps an old high school flame?

This narrative is becoming all too common, and it was my reality almost a decade ago.

Sparks were flying, and I was a main character in a typical rom-com story where an intriguing conversation swiftly blossomed into a love that I never experienced.

As the relationship deepened, another lifelong commitment seemed to be inevitable. She had two children from a previous marriage and I had four. Destined to form our own Brandy Bunch, we forged ahead at a blistering pace. All seemed perfect at first, then reality hit. Again. Our rom-cam quickly became a reality TV show watched with one eye open. Through all the trials, we decided to push forward and tied the knot.

Perception vs. Reality
Somewhere in the whirlwind of love and excitement, chaos reared its ugly head. The children were at each other’s throats and we felt tension from our different approaches to parenting. The complexity of the blended family dynamics were in its infancy. The kids were pitting my wife and I against each other, former spouses were making an effort to sabotage the new marriage. Did I mention in-laws, former in-laws, former spouse’s significant others, too? Holiday switching, not being with my two children on Christmas morning or their birthday as I alternated with my former spouse…it all became so painful.

The hardest part was all the people influencing my day-to-day life than I could have ever dreamed possible. That is when the guilt set in. With all the disharmony, we clung to our children. Blood thickened and the new blended family was now divided.

The music went somber again.

The Stats
Blended families are on the rise and the trend has no sign of slowing down. With a divorce rate over 50%, blended families are quickly becoming the new norm. Almost 65% of remarriages involve children from a previous marriage. Another shocking statistic: the divorce rate for blended families with one divorce jumps to 70%. The more marriages, the higher the divorce rate. The stats alone make the case that this fast-growing community is in dire need of love and support.

My Blended Family
My wife Jenny and I have been married for 6 ½ years, together for 9 years. Our beautiful family of six children ages 9 to 27 has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding times of our life. Our success in overcoming the struggles and extremely difficult dynamics of our blended family can be contributed to two factors:

1. Our unwavering faith that our Lord and savior Jesus Christ is with us always
2. Our amazing community of blended families and marriage mentors that have walked alongside us every good and difficult step of the way.

The role of the church has a profound impact on the success of the blended families. The truth is, most blended families don’t look like the Brady Bunch or a rom-com. We need all the help we can get to lock arms with other families going through the same challenges. There is healing that takes place when you invite God and other families into your struggles.

The Blended Family Ministry has the opportunities to change a legacy that could impact thousands of generations. This ministry has the ability to save blended family marriages from that 70% divorce rate. If you are in a new blended family, approaching that season of life, or if you’ve been living with this reality for years, please do not face this challenge alone. Stand with us in changing legacies! God loves your blended family; Jesus was in a blended family and there is no mountain He cannot move!

Join the Blended Family Workshop!
This small group workshop is taught from Ron Deal’s book/DVD series called “The Smart Stepfamily.” The workshop provides practical biblical insight into the struggles that blended families face for dating, engaged, and married couples. Join a community that will walk with you as we navigate the complexities of the blended family together.

Workshops will be offered at two campuses and new this year, we will also have Blended Family Home Studies in Oxford (childcare available), Macomb Twp., and Clinton Twp. Learn more and register at

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We are offering a time for our congregation to gather after the 10am service for prayer in the Groves Auditorium, 20500 W 13 Mile Rd, Beverly Hills, MI 48025.

On Sunday evening, Dec 5, parents of high school and middle school students are invited to the second half of our Edge gathering at Genesis Church, 309 N Main St, Royal Oak, MI 48067, at 6:15pm. We will have a breakout to equip parents in caring for themselves and processing pain with their children in times of tragedy.

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Orion Campus

We believe that unity at this time is more important than ever. Several churches in the area are partnering together to offer space for students to begin the process of healing.

We will have several grief and trauma specialists on site this Sunday evening at our Orion Campus (4640 S Lapeer Rd Lake Orion, MI 48359) from 5-6:30pm and will have a night of prayer, worship and an opportunity for students to process with each other.

Tate Myre Funeral:
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Clinton Township Campus

We will be offering a time for our congregation to gather after each service for a time of corporate prayer in the Greatroom. Prayer will be offered at 10:15 am and 12:15 pm. (25000 Hall Rd, Charter Twp of Clinton, MI 48036)

This Sunday at 3:30 pm as a community we want to gather, pray and mourn together. We are all looking for answers and wondering why tragedy happens but we can find hope and peace in Jesus. 

Troy Campus

Join us Sunday night, December 5th for a Community Prayer Vigil at Kensington Church at 6:00 pm. Invite friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers to come together for a time of hope and prayer. 

Following the Vigil, at 7:00 pm, there will be breakouts for students and for parents to process and be equipped in caring for themselves and those around in times of tragedy.

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updated June 23, 2021

It’s been life-giving to be in-person for our weekend services since last July when we reopened. If you haven’t yet, we invite you to join us in person sometime soon.

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If you are sick, are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms, or have possibly been exposed to COVID-19, please plan to stay home and participate in our services via our many online streaming options.

At the start of the pandemic, Kensington’s Executive Team commissioned a group of staff members as a COVID Task Force to establish protocols and procedures for the safety of our church community. Thanks for sticking with us throughout all the changes and adjustments over the past 15 months.

We’re grateful to be together again!