All I Hear Is Boo

Ann Wilson

Ann Wilson

Co-Founder, Author, Radio Host

Here I was again, engulfed in loneliness and discouragement, my new companions. I was having another pity party, destroying any chance of falling asleep.

Ughhhh! This was happening more and more as I lay my weary body down beside my husband Dave, who seemed oblivious to the tug-of-war in my mind.

I should be content and happy, I scolded myself. I have a godly husband and three sons that keep me busy, but I wish my husband would help more, listen more, lead me more spiritually and be more attentive to my needs!

More, more, more.

Yes — God, I need more! I thought.

It feels like I do everything, and no one cares or notices, especially my husband. I fell asleep, scheming how I could get my husband on board with my plans to change him.

The next morning, Dave and I were teaching a group of young moms. Dave began eagerly telling the women what almost all their husbands probably experienced growing up.

“When your husband was a boy, he most likely had a mom or dad or a relative cheering for him, telling him, ‘Good job!’ As your husband got older, he might have had a coach, a teacher or some mentor telling him he was good at something, and that coach or teacher cheered him on and encouraged him to work harder.”

Dave was totally into his talk now. He’d been sitting beside me when we started, but he became more animated and stood up to make his points.

He told them that as a college quarterback, he had coaches and fans cheering him on and saying, “Dave Wilson, you’re the man!” As he said those words, he started clapping his hands enthusiastically. His energy was filling the room, and he had completely captured the women’s attention. He then explained that when I said yes to his marriage proposal, I shouted to the world, “You are the man of all men!” As he yelled those words, he looked straight at me with a look that said I was his biggest cheerleader.

Then he lowered the boom.

“But ladies, after we have been married a while,” he said sadly, “we men walk in the door after a long, hard day and all we hear is, ‘BOOOOOO!’”

My heart dropped. What was he saying … that I boo him all the time? My face turned red as I picked my heart up off the floor.

On the ride home, I defensively asked, “You think I boo you all the time?” I then said, “I’m not booing you. I am HELPING you!”

“It doesn’t feel like help,” Dave quietly replied.

He wasn’t angry or defensive, which bothered me because he seemed broken.

His battered soul worried me and I wondered, Was I the cause of the wind going out of his sails?

Dave then added, “You may not literally boo me, but you are constantly critiquing the things I do or say. You fix the things I have already fixed, like redressing the kids after I dressed them, or telling me what I should or shouldn’t have said to family and friends. It just doesn’t seem like I can do anything right in your eyes. All I hear is BOOOO!”

Silence engulfed the car. I was shocked! I had no idea he felt any of this.

When we got home I went straight up to my bedroom and fell to my knees, where I usually had deep conversations with God. It seemed it had been a long time since I’d been in that spot.

My prayers had become a rant-session about my husband’s inability to meet my needs.

Conviction flooded my heart as I fell completely prostrate on the floor.

“Is it true, Lord? Have I gone from Dave’s biggest cheerleader to his biggest critic?”

Jesus gently answered, “Yes … and it’s because you believe if you change Dave, then you will be happy. But Dave wasn’t created to make you happy. Only I can do that.”

I realized I’d made Dave and our marriage more important than my relationship with God. And whatever we prioritize over God becomes the source of our joy.

Dave is an amazing guy, but he makes a really bad god!

“In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success” (Proverbs 3:6).

As I “put God first” in my life that day, I was filled with a love and appreciation for Dave that I had lost. As I began to cheer for him again, he morphed before my eyes into one incredible man and husband.

It’s truly amazing what a little cheering for someone can do.

Try it today, and watch what happens.

Read even more in the book Vertical Marriage: written by Dave & Ann Wilson.

Share this post

115 Shares
You Might Like...
boring
Dave Wilson

Church can be boring.

It’s truly amazing to me that I am a pastor at a church, considering my journey getting here. I grew up being dragged to church by my single mom whether I wanted to go or

love
Ann Wilson

Is there a secret to a happy marriage?

The marriage secret … someone asked me on my wedding day what I loved about Dave Wilson. I quickly replied, “There is nothing I DON’T love about him!” My answer to that question would have

Never miss another blog post.
Subscribe to be notified when new posts are published.

pagination_prv_arrow
EnglishPortuguese

Birmingham Campus

We are offering a time for our congregation to gather after the 10am service for prayer in the Groves Auditorium, 20500 W 13 Mile Rd, Beverly Hills, MI 48025.

On Sunday evening, Dec 5, parents of high school and middle school students are invited to the second half of our Edge gathering at Genesis Church, 309 N Main St, Royal Oak, MI 48067, at 6:15pm. We will have a breakout to equip parents in caring for themselves and processing pain with their children in times of tragedy.

Parents & Student Resources

Parents – self care is critical. It’s important to do your own processing with another adult so that you can be more present as your child processes. Here are tools that you can use to get you started.

Podcast

Helpful Blogs

Other Materials

Counselors Are Needed After Tragedy

“The aftermath of the Oxford shooting tragedy will undoubtedly result in traumatic symptoms and experiences across our communities for quite some time. Healing the brain through evidence-based therapies is absolutely possible with clinical guidance. There is a valuable village of Trauma Therapists with collective resources standing by for Oxford, for both direct and secondary survivors to engage in therapy. Until then, we honorably hold a sacred space, as students, families, staff and school partners continue to mourn.” -Laura Azoni, LMSW, Founder of Sanctuary Services

Orion Campus

We believe that unity at this time is more important than ever. Several churches in the area are partnering together to offer space for students to begin the process of healing.

We will have several grief and trauma specialists on site this Sunday evening at our Orion Campus (4640 S Lapeer Rd Lake Orion, MI 48359) from 5-6:30pm and will have a night of prayer, worship and an opportunity for students to process with each other.

Tate Myre Funeral:
Monday, 12.6 Visitation 1 to 8pm
Tuesday, 12.7 Visitation 10-12pm and funeral at Noon

Clinton Township Campus

We will be offering a time for our congregation to gather after each service for a time of corporate prayer in the Greatroom. Prayer will be offered at 10:15 am and 12:15 pm. (25000 Hall Rd, Charter Twp of Clinton, MI 48036)

This Sunday at 3:30 pm as a community we want to gather, pray and mourn together. We are all looking for answers and wondering why tragedy happens but we can find hope and peace in Jesus. 

Troy Campus

Join us Sunday night, December 5th for a Community Prayer Vigil at Kensington Church at 6:00 pm. Invite friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers to come together for a time of hope and prayer. 

Following the Vigil, at 7:00 pm, there will be breakouts for students and for parents to process and be equipped in caring for themselves and those around in times of tragedy.

Marriage Classes

What grows marriages? Focusing on the two of you and being in community!
The Marriage Course includes seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. Some couples do the course to intentionally invest in their relationship, others are looking to address more specific challenges. Either way, the course offers essential tools and practical ideas to help you build a relationship that lasts a lifetime. The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles but designed for all couples with or without a church background.

Please email marriage@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

Financial Peace University (FPU)

Financial Peace University (FPU) is a catalyst to help people live in financial freedom and enable them to have a posture of openhandedness. We have witnessed numerous Kensington families experience life change as a result of applying Biblical truths to their personal finances. The real blessing is seeing people create lives of margin that allow them to hear and respond to the Lord’s calling on their lives.

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

Bible Basics

Whether you are brand new to the Bible or have been reading it for decades, Bible Basics is a course that will help you understand the overall flow of the Bible. Over the course of several weeks, learn how the Bible came from the original writers to the English versions we have today. We’ll look at the big-picture story of the Bible and how all the individual books add to the whole. We’ll even learn a little about the history of the Jewish nation. But most of all, we’ll grow in our awe of the amazing author of this amazing book!

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

All Campus

Orion

Clinton Township

Alpha

What is my purpose? What value does the Bible have in my life? How do I pray? How can I grow in confidence to share my faith? These are the big questions that are at the heart of what it means to have a relationship with God. Alpha is a space to explore life’s big questions, to say what you think and to hear other people’s points of view. Over ten-weeks you will explore and discover while listening to weekly topics, participating in table discussion, and developing community. Alpha courses meeting in-person gather around a meal.

You don’t have to come for the whole series—just check it out for the first session and see what you think. No pressure.

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

All Campus

Orion

Troy

Clinton Township

You will then be directed to PushPay for payment.
For additional questions, please contact giving@kensingtonchurch.org or call 248.786.0637

GROUP LEADER DEVELOPMENT

Together Again

updated June 23, 2021

It’s been life-giving to be in-person for our weekend services since last July when we reopened. If you haven’t yet, we invite you to join us in person sometime soon.

Reservations and ticketing have been discontinued at all our campuses.

Masks are optional at all services, events, and ministry gatherings for kids, students, and adults. We know that everyone needs to make the right health decisions for themselves and their family, so if you feel comfortable removing your mask, you may. And if you’d like to continue wearing a mask or face covering, you may do that as well. This is a personal choice that only you can decide what is best for yourself when attending in person at Kensington.

If you are sick, are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms, or have possibly been exposed to COVID-19, please plan to stay home and participate in our services via our many online streaming options.

At the start of the pandemic, Kensington’s Executive Team commissioned a group of staff members as a COVID Task Force to establish protocols and procedures for the safety of our church community. Thanks for sticking with us throughout all the changes and adjustments over the past 15 months.

We’re grateful to be together again!