A Note To Mom

Every stage and circumstance changes what it means to be a mother. Nine staff members have written these honest and vulnerable “Mother’s Day notes” below. We hope you find a note in this collection that encourages you – just where you are – this Mother’s Day.

How can God possibly make good out of your failures as a mother? You’ve grown. You’ve repented. But it’s all too late and there was so much damage done to your kids. It feels overwhelming and hopeless. How can you bridge the chasm now? How can you forgive yourself?

I don’t have “advice” … let’s pray to our God who hears and can help:
Dear Jesus, we need your Resurrection power in our families. In the wake of destruction and disfunction, we cry out to You to rebuild, to make a new way, to do a new work (Isaiah 61:4, Isaiah 43:18-19). If you can make the dead alive again, you can take the broken bits of our lives and restore them. Help me to be patient with my children. Help me think and speak and act from this sweet place of forgiveness – because You have forgiven me and my own feelings and pangs of guilt have to bow down to the reality: the sacrifice of Jesus is sufficient for my sin and shortcomings. Help me to live in freedom now. And please, in your kindness, help my relationships to be reconciled and made whole. Amen.

This isn’t quite what you had hoped for the future, is it? You thought you’d be part of a team, but here you are, doing life solo. The daily routine is intense with work, childcare, household, and financial responsibilities. No breaks or time alone. But you’ve surprised yourself, haven’t you? You can do the hard things in life that come with being a single parent!

How are you surviving this alternate reality? God is WITH YOU. There are lonely times, but you aren’t alone.

God speaks to you through the church message series that feels like it was written with you in mind. He cares for you through the neighbor who delivers Easter treats for the kids. He provides for you when the car repair wasn’t necessary at all. He encourages you through the 1-hour conversation with your best friend. He allows you to feel His presence during communion at church. He laughs with you during family game time at the coffee table. And when your brain won’t shut off in the quiet hours of the night, He reminds you He is there. He’s present with you in all the moments.

So, don’t feel guilty for the permission slip you forgot to sign because it was buried in your pile of papers. Or the concert you missed because you had to work late. Don’t be discouraged that your family isn’t supportive. Or that your married-friend group ghosted you. Or that in 2025, people are still judging single parents … Your children are learning a valuable skill: how to trust God in the unplanned, difficult seasons of life. They get a front row seat to watch God provide for your little family. Every. Single. Day.

I see you.
I see you tearing the house apart looking for the Bluey water bottle—and I know offering the purple one is not an option. I see you carefully crafting the perfect PB&J, only to watch it sit untouched. I see you at the Starbucks drive-thru, eyes lingering on a woman quietly sipping her hot coffee, alone. I see you collapsing into bed, mentally replaying the day, questioning everything you said or didn’t say. You are not alone.

You are not alone in wanting to be an amazing mom—and also wanting to escape. You are not alone in longing for a moment that belongs only to you. You are not alone in the guilt, the overthinking, or even in the whispered wish that your child was just a little older.

But here’s the truth: you are not your child’s savior. Jesus is.

You are their mom, not their perfection. Your job isn’t to fix every feeling or get every moment right. It’s to connect. Deeply. Authentically. Every kiss on a scraped knee, every bear hug, every moment you choose grace—for them and for yourself—is sacred. It builds the kind of love that holds, steadies, and carries.

Your child doesn’t need a flawless mom. They need you. The real, tired, laughing, praying, sometimes-hiding-in-the-bathroom you.

So when you’re whispering desperate prayers in the middle of the night… When you feel like you’re not enough… When you feel unseen and unheard… When you wonder if you’re failing…
Know this:
You are seen.
You are heard.
You are deeply, unconditionally loved.

Jesus walks with you in every Goldfish-covered, tear-streaked, grace-filled moment of this season. You don’t have to do it all. You’re not alone.
Let God fill you with His love—right here, in the beautiful, chaotic middle of toddlerhood.

Early-morning attitude, travel sports, eye rolls, hearing “you’re so embarrassing!” Skin care, stinky cologne, messy bedrooms, an entirely new language and BIG emotions. Hugs, couch snuggles and “I Love You’s” by children who are nearly taller than you. The emotional roller coaster of mom-ing a 6th-8th grader is not for the faint of heart, but it can be one of the most rewarding relationships you experience.

How are you surviving this alternate reality? God is WITH YOU. There are lonely times, but you aren’t alone.

When, not if, a crisis occurs, your once independent, strong-willed adolescent reverts to the toddler that only wants their mommy to kiss their boo-boos and make everything better. In that same moment you are transported back to all the times you were wanted and needed as the only person in their world that could offer the comfort and safety they needed to heal. I believe this is when the most authentic of bonds are formed. It becomes clear that you were created for them and them for you.

1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Let no one despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” The Bible is clear that there are no disadvantages of their youth. Middle schoolers have a calling to become positive role models within their schools; friend groups and communities of faith and it’s one of our jobs as moms to encourage them in that pursuit.

Take heart that you too have a noble calling as a mom to a middle schooler and you are not in the trenches alone.

His room is an absolute pit. Half-full water cups, potato-chip bags with remnants of a 12:32am mid-GTA snack, and unkempt clothes strewn about. You’ve seen him a total of 46 minutes in a span of 72 hours, when he, bleary eyed, dragged himself from his “almost-a-man” cave and grunted a “‘sup” in your general direction. You greet these moments with cheer, only to be walked past as he grabs a Monster from the fridge and heads back to his bedroom.

Well… at least he seemed healthy and you know he’s eating. That’s a win.

Let’s just be honest, shall we? Parenting teenage boys sucks. Your best buddy, your Mama’s boy, the one who wouldn’t even let you poop alone flipped a switch and seemingly wants nothing to do with you.

I find it interesting that one of the most significant men of the Bible, John the Baptist, has his entire childhood reduced to a single sentence within all the pages of the Gospels, and it only indicates that he was raised in the wilderness. Was he spending his teen years playing cowboys and robbers and ignoring Elizabeth? If he did spend years in isolation and aimless wandering it didn’t inhibit his later life – he had a remarkable, God-glorifying future coming.

Just as we pull away from God in our own lives and yet trust that He is there watching over us, loving us and ready to guide us as soon as we turn back, so our teenagers pull away but can still trust that we’re there to pick them back up if they falter.

Their lives are stronger and better because of your constant support and presence, regardless of their acknowledgment. Hold tight, Mama.

Another Mother’s Day – time to mine through all the cards that say, “My first BFF was you, mom” or “I am who I am today because I had the best example.” It feels a little unfair that I don’t get to choose those ones with tears in my eyes remembering all the rainbows and butterflies. I have to spend far longer looking for one that says only, “Happy Mother’s Day” for fear of being disingenuous about the past or neglecting my experience.

God calls us to forgive just as He has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). He’s helped me do that, without rewriting my past. The two ideas aren’t mutually exclusive, which took a long time to realize. Forgiveness says that while I can be frustrated I didn’t have the ideal relationship with my mom, I can still choose to honor her with a Mother’s Day card – instead of doing it out of obligation and bitterness. Forgiveness and healing are a journey that I’m still on; some days, like Mother’s Day, are harder than others, but we aren’t promised perfect relationships as a Christ follower (although that would’ve been great). And these days especially are when I need on God the most. And He’s there.

Let me just say, I know how you feel! Feeling less than, and craving more energy, patience, creativity, or parenting wisdom. It impacts us moms no matter how long we’ve journeyed through motherhood. What if I suggested that your best – as limited and frazzled as it may be – is enough! What if your “not enough” and the ugly feelings attached to it are prompts to pause, hug your children, and seek Jesus. Let Jesus remind you that He uniquely created you, just as you are – strengths and weaknesses, highlights and low points, bearing songs of celebration and cries of lament. Your best is exactly what your children need. Ask Jesus to help you see yourself clothed with his love, beauty, and abundant grace. I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day filled with joy and hope!

I see you.
Caregiving day and night, always putting everyone else’s needs before your own. Juggling work, therapy, and endless doctor’s appointments—
explaining symptoms, filling out forms for the hundredth time,
repeating the same story to yet another specialist.

I see you grieving the job you had to let go,
because caring for her is a full-time, all-consuming kind of love.

You drive to therapy, then school, then therapy again.
You sit in waiting rooms with a tired smile,
holding hope in one hand and exhaustion in the other.

Your heart is so often misunderstood—
it’s not envy when you pause at the sight of the soccer field.
You just want him to feel included too.

And those dreaded IEP meetings—
I see you showing up, notes in hand,
fighting like only a mother can.

You try new tools, new strategies, new ways to connect.
Even when it’s hard, even when it fails—
you keep showing up, loving with creativity and courage.
Friendships fade, invitations dwindle,
because finding a babysitter feels impossible.
I see the loneliness. I see the sacrifice.

But I also see your strength.
The way you whisper encouragement
when the world doesn’t understand.
The way you celebrate the victories—
even the smallest ones—with your whole heart.

You are not alone.
You are seen.
And you are doing an incredible job. So this Mother’s Day,
I hope you feel honored.
Not just for what you do—
but for who you are.
You are resilient.
You are loving beyond measure.
You are the heart of your child’s world.

And you are deeply, deeply loved.HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

“Empty Nester” – words that held an equal measure of grief, anticipation, and mystery for me as my children began to leave home. Grief because I LOVED being a mama and knew I would deeply miss seeing them every day. Anticipation because I had SO MANY things I wanted to step into with my newly found freedom. And mystery because I knew I would have to rediscover who I was apart from my identity as a mom. Over the years I have discovered joy in my empty nest – but it took time to discover a new normal. So be alert, be present, and trust that God will show you something brand new!

I heard a quote that got lodged in my mind while simultaneously piercing my heart: “If we do not feel wanted, we make ourselves needed.” Ugh. That’s a hard truth for me to digest.

Days, weeks, years, decades revolve around our children, and so does our identity. How often do we wish for appreciation for the many sacrifices we make as mothers? How often do I unconsciously strive to be needed?

Don’t get me wrong: motherhood is my favorite role on this earth. I adore my daughter and pregnancy was hard-won for me. I try to never take motherhood for granted, but I know that mixed up in this beautiful calling is a selfish want to be needed (and it’s strongest when I don’t feel wanted). I am ever trying to untangle the right kind of sacrifice from the wrong kind.

So, I ask myself:

• Is God glorified by this sacrifice or am I only pleasing my child?
• Am I sacrificing in a way that is unloving or uncaring to myself?
• And lastly, am I helping my child grow to be self-sufficient or do I want her to stay dependent on me so that I feel connected?

God is glorified by the loving, sacrificial nature of motherhood, but we aren’t meant to live for our children or to imagine we are their Savior or to forget that we have intrinsic value and purpose beyond this demanding, wonderful role. 

Today is hard and it’s made worse by the fact that people all around you are celebrating. You want to celebrate with those who celebrate, selflessly, but the pain is still raw and you have to detach or the tears will well up and spill over… Whether your grief is over the death of your mom or the death of the dream of becoming a mom or something else related to this sacred relationship, your pain is visceral and real and understandable.

We are a people and a culture that loves to celebrate. We love shiny and curated and dreamy. But life is hard. If you are suffering today, don’t allow yourself to think that you have been singled out for misery. You have been chosen – chosen by God for God. In this life, we will all suffer yet He will never forsake us (John 16:33, Hebrews 13:5). God wants to draw you close and envelope you in the comfort of His presence – I pray that you feel it today. And I’m so sorry for your loss.