A Conversation On Race

Kristin Pelletier

Kristin Pelletier

Content Manager

With members of Kensington Staff: Becky Lee, Steve Andrews, Jalen Seawright, Sam Franjione, Nancy Zott, Brian Petty, and Aaron Jones

1. Does the church in the U.S. still have issues surrounding race?

I believe as a country we are still navigating the issues/sins of slavery in our past and how that created systems of injustice and racial inequity that still exist today. The Church is a microcosm of our society/country so is faced with these same issues. -Becky Lee, Move Out Director

Dr. King said, “It is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o’clock on Sunday morning.” The civil rights movement took place less than 60 years ago. We are only two generations removed, and both of these generations are still active in their contributions to our culture. The issue of race has not disappeared, it has only evolved into something more complex. -Jalen Seawright, Troy Worship Arts Director

Yes, it does. Because when you walk into a building there is usually a majority race, not real diversity. So then, maybe you’re choosing a church not based on what they preach but what race attends. And maybe it’s not exactly racism but it’s prejudice. If the person in power (the majority) is passive about helping out “the other” (the minority) than they are reinforcing prejudice – even if it’s not active harm. The way to solve is to be like Jesus is to step into the uncomfortable. -Brian Petty, Intern Admin. for Internship Program

Yes, the church in the U.S. still has issues surrounding race. I think this is evident because of the offense when race is brought up. We’ve seen it here at Kensington that many feel some tension or are offended when race is brought up or discussed. -Aaron Jones, Clinton Twp. Worship Arts Director


2. So what makes it better? Should we look at race (study, discuss, etc.) or stop looking and consider it a non-issue in order to move forward?

I’m torn. I think Morgan Freeman once said that racism will end when we stop talking about it. I don’t know if that’s true. I understand his statement, but I’ve learned that race is an issue. I don’t think the way to navigate it is to learn facts, but rather, I think the way to navigate it is to teach the values of Jesus through the lens of race and life experience. When we do that, and we bring light to where ignorance once was –I believe that will help us begin to understand. As a white man in the U.S., there are a million libraries full of life stories that I’ll never experience, so the more I can learn, from people different from me, the better. We were all made in the image of God, so the more I learn about others, the more I learn of God. -Sam Franjione, Assc. Student Ministry Director

Definitely the first. It takes honest dialogue and a serious dissection of our culture to see the myriad ways that race has shaped the world… [and]…it takes deliberate and often painful self-reflection to find the truth about how our race has affected us individually. This journey didn’t happen for me until I became a better listener, and friends and family members who were not white were willing to be honest with me about the pain and struggle in their own lives. It was humbling how little I knew and understood, how little I had considered what it meant to be white or to be a person of color. Then I became the mother of a black baby through foster care and adoption, and the conversation suddenly went from a mental exercise to a visceral experience. And since then I’ve read and listened and learned and explored, all the while knowing that I’ll never truly know what it means to be a person of color. But I can certainly become someone with greater empathy and understanding, ready to wade into the challenging world of racial reconciliation. -Nancy Zott, Kaleo Arts Content

I think it is important to look at race to make things better. I heard a wise quote once that went, “You can sweep the issue under the rug, but the rug is still in the house.” Not talking about race doesn’t solve anything, instead I think it can actually suppress feelings/opinions that can develop into a larger issue. -Aaron Jones, Clinton Twp. Worship Arts Director

I have been on a personal journey of discovery and learning about issues of systemic racism and how that impacts people of color in my community. As I have leaned in and begun building relationships with people, and heard their stories, I have realized that this issue of understanding racial equity is critical to loving our neighbors and living out the gospel both inside the walls of the church and also in carrying the gospel outside the walls. So yes, based on my personal experience, looking at race both in our current context and acknowledging the past and where we have come from is critically important to building bridges for restoration and healing and living in unity! -Becky Lee, Move Out Director

Yes, we look at it but we don’t focus on it. We look at racism like sin – you recognize the darkness because of the light. Racism is brokenness that will always be around, but we still fight against it. It can’t be our main focus, though, that has to be love. -Brian Petty, Intern Admin. for Internship Program


3. Why haven’t we made more progress? What is holding us back?

Naturally people tend to enjoy what is comfortable. We all like what we “know.” It’s much easier to go through life only investing in relationships with people who are “like” us. It’s uncomfortable and awkward investing in relationships with people who are nothing “like” us. This has given fear the advantage. Our cities are beginning to look a lot more colorful, colors derived from every corner of the world. What will we do with this new opportunity? Do we even see it as an opportunity? Will we embrace “the other?” Making ourselves vulnerable enough to extend a hand, maybe even learning a little about them in the process. For some, recognizing that there is still racial division and tension means that they must come face to face with their fear. They must be willing to loosen their grip on what they hold true. -Jalen Seawright, Troy Worship Arts Director

The role for those of us who are white needs to be predominantly that of a listener and learner. It is really uncomfortable to be a white person in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. and be told for the first time that “You are white and that means by and large, life has been very different for you than it has been for me, your black or brown friend/neighbor/relative. And by different, I mean easier.” I’ve seen a lot of people have a pretty automatic rejection of that idea; that there are certain privileges or benefits to be had simply because of the whiteness of their skin. We want to believe that we earned the good things we have, that the world is ultimately fair and just, and that racism is either a problem of the past or something relegated to the margins of society. But unfortunately, none of that is entirely true. -Nancy Zott, Kaleo Arts Content

I would tell the white majority, to be open to having the conversation. Don’t try to speak for people of color. Don’t assume you “get” what they are talking about. Understanding a person of color’s culture is not a 50-minute lecture/discussion, it’s a lifetime of experiences and lessons. If you are truly interested in diversity and inclusion, be interested in a lifetime of getting to know a person of color and submerging yourself in their world/environments, even if its uncomfortable. -Aaron Jones, Clinton Twp. Worship Arts Director


4. For those of us who don’t understand how race impacts daily life, could you share some examples of prejudice you’ve personally experienced or witnessed?

There are many situations that take place in my day-to-day life where I am consistently reminded of my color. Especially living in an area where I am the minority. For example, here’s my Suburban Black Man Grocery Shopping Truth: People who know me, know that I enjoy wearing hats and dressing nicely. If I have my hat and nice clothes on, I’m only considered to be suspicious. If I have my “day off clothes” on (hoodie and sweats), I definitely need to be followed around the store…In my sweats and hoodie, I look like someone most people would see on the nightly news –like a person that has committed a crime. In my nicer clothing, I look like less of a threat and less likely to commit a crime. I can honestly say, I 100% dress the way that I do intentionally. I can almost guarantee how my day will go based on what I wear. -Jalen Seawright, Troy Worship Arts Director

In the church specifically, I’ve often received racial comments about a number of stereotypes. People have negatively addressed my hair, my skin color, my character, my talents, and my voice/opinion. I’ve overheard someone saying, “You know how “they” are.“ I’ve had people come up and say, “I don’t like your hair like that, it’s too crazy and unprofessional. You need to tame it.” Some have had the idea that black people are entertainers and were shocked when in conversation, it came up that I had a college degree. I’ve had an attendee of a church come up and say, “We need you to be blacker on stage. I’ve been to a church in inner city Detroit, so I know. We don’t need you to be a watered-down version; we need you to bring more blackness to the music.” (as if there is some formula to being black). Being a Christian does not disqualify prejudice in your heart. There is still a work that has to be done and change has to be embraced. -Aaron Jones, Clinton Twp. Worship Arts Director

Ask yourself why you’re reaching out. Is it out of love or out of fear? Sometimes, we want to know more about someone just so that we can label them. Then all the stereotypes come flooding in. I’ve been asked, “What are you?” When I responded, “human,” they continued, “no what are you? Your race?” When they found I was half black, I was asked if I understood ‘black vernacular.’ There were immediate assumptions made out of ignorance. When I come in contact with people who have ignorance, I pray for their hearts so that I can have grace. All of us should be constantly asking ourselves, “Am I doing this out of love?” -Brian Petty, Intern, Admin Asst. to Internship Program


5. Is there more unity across racial and cultural lines within Christian communities? Any personal thoughts on this?

Our skin makes us beautiful, but at the core, we all have the same blood. Within, we’re the same. God always judged according to the heart. He chose King David based on heart not height or appearance. I’m half Korean and half black, and grew up in a predominantly black school. In college, my friend group really diversified. My friend group is still very diverse but it’s based on what we have in common — which now is especially Christ. -Brian Petty, Intern Admin. for Internship Program

As far as cultural lines, it’s difficult because churches over time reflect the majority’s culture. However, we know all people of the world who enter heaven, will speak different languages and look different from one another. I think there is value in maintaining culture and in tradition, but I also think that when we have different kinds of people worshiping the same God, it’s one of the best reflections of heaven we will ever see. -Sam Franjione, Assc. Student Ministry Director

Jesus was clear with His disciples and community of followers that the world will know we are believers by the way way we live in unity and love each other. He also made it clear that we are to love our neighbors and people of color are most definitely our neighbors! The issue of race is complex and challenging to dive into and it takes humility, openness and a posture of learning and that is something that I want and pray the Church will take the lead on! I have walked alongside some friends of mine who are people of color and they are amazing, committed believers. Even though they may have experienced areas of tension or inequity, they’re hopeful and committed to the Church leading in this space. Seeing through their lens of what it may feel like at times to not be in the majority population has given me a deep desire to use my privilege as being part of the majority population to help carry their stories from the margins to the center of the narrative so we can all learn and grow in unity. -Becky Lee, Move Out Director


6) How do you cultivate a connection or friendship with someone different from you?

You have to enter into that seemingly uncomfortable or potentially unknown territory. At the level of personal friendship, I think it can be organic. If it’s forced, most people wouldn’t call that a friendship. My friendships with people who look different than me have been born out of the things I have in common with them. We may not have race in common, but we have a whole lot of other things in common –whether it’s the music we like, or write, or the sports we play, or the God we serve; it could literally be anything. The reason some friendships don’t form is because we focus on the one thing we don’t have in common instead of the countless things we do. -Sam Franjione, Assc. Student Ministry Director

I cultivate friendships with people that are different from me by pursuing the heart of the Father. I think it is definitely a challenge, but you have to be willing to embrace the uncomfortable. Personally, my different friendships were formed by me being willing to put my guard down and trust others despite the bad experiences that I’ve had in the past. I will say more commonly than not, you see people of color crossing the line to befriend white people rather than the other way around. I can’t generalize a reason for this –maybe its fear, but I see it being a common trend outside of the “blind side” mentality (saving someone which in the end will benefit you). -Aaron Jones, Clinton Twp. Worship Arts Director

There is no perfect way to do this because we are all imperfect. What is miraculous is that in our imperfection; our weird, awkward and uncomfortable attempts at relationships give birth to reconciliation, peace and ultimately a legacy that will create a better world for generations to come. So, keep your eyes open and ears attentive to who God brings into your life wherever He’s calling you to. When you encounter a person that is other than you, because you will, simply engage in knowing them– not what you can do for them. Share a meal with them. Over time, respectfully ask questions and when you don’t understand, pursue understanding. Be honest with yourself about your feelings when uncomfortable topics arise. Honestly and humbly address them and see which ones may be based in fear and ignorance simply because you’ve yet to understand. And most importantly, ask God to remove the feelings, thoughts, beliefs and convictions that aren’t of Him. To the minority, be sure that your heart is soft. Cynicism is like a weed, when watered, it has a unique way of growing up and choking the life out of beautiful moments where reconciliation can happen. It is very easy to believe the worst, assuming that people come to the table with evil intent. God calls us to to be completely humble and gentle; being patient and bearing with one another in love. If we aren’t able to come to the table with a soft and willing heart, we’ve lost the battle before it’s even begun. -Jalen Seawright, Troy Worship Arts Director

Living in a majority white neighborhood, our family has had to be intentional about creating relationships with people of color. This effort has been so rewarding in terms of learning and growing! Some friendships started as conversations in Kensington’s lobby which led to inviting families to dinner in our home. A natural friendship begin to form and grow out of that simple act of hospitality. We’ve experimented with eating at ethnic restaurants and going to music venues that expose us to more diversity and potential relationships. We have engaged in learning opportunities where we have partnered with other families to expand our circle and invite people to our table who may be different than us. We hosted a gathering called “Love Feast” through an organization called Preemptive Love, and God brought a beautiful mix of ethnicities, cultures, and backgrounds together. Through conversations and sharing our stories in a posture of openness, we learned that we actually have more in common than we have differences. We’ve also stepped out with a small group of women to invite a diverse group to read a book on racial reconciliation, called Be The Bridge. This has been transforming and God has birthed a beautiful desire for this group to continue journeying together as we get to know each other’s stories and tackle how we can become bridge-builders in racial reconciliation. -Becky Lee, Move Out Director


7. What do you want our community to ponder today, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, 2020?

Would you risk your life so that people — people that no one thinks are valuable — could make a few more cents an hour? As a child in Memphis, Tennessee, I was in a bubble. Dr. King was shot two miles from my house. The next day at school, there were boys on the playground bragging that their fathers were a part of the conspiracy. The world that we lived in celebrated the assassination of a human being. Dr. King gave his life so that sanitation workers could make 80 cents more a day. There was so much sacrifice in this – he had been warned and still he came. Another member of Kensington I know well, witnessed his cousin being lynched and had to stay hidden.

It is so important that we don’t disconnect our lives from history. It would be a great tragedy to disconnect ourselves from the victories and failures of our ancestors. In Memphis in the 60s, I grew up in a society that celebrated the victories and didn’t recognize the failures. To do this is to go through life sleep-walking. Our goal as human beings has to be to continually become more and more awake. God is moving. He’s changing peoples’ hearts. -Steve Andrews, Lead Pastor

One of my favorite quotes by Dr. King is this: “And when you come to the point that you look in the face of every man and see deep down within him what religion calls “the image of God,” you begin to love him…” -Jalen Seawright, Troy Worship Arts Director

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Titus 1

Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ to further the faith of God’s elect and their knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness– 2 in the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, 3 and which now at his appointed season he has brought to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior, 4 To Titus, my true son in our common faith: Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior. 5 The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you. 6 An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. 7 Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless– not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. 8 Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. 9 He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. 10 For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. 11 They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach– and that for the sake of dishonest gain.

Other Helpful Passages:
Ephesians 4
1 Corinthians 12-13
1 Peter 5
2 Timothy 2:2

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December 24 Services
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December 24 Services
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Divorce Recovery

You don’t have to go through the pain and stress of divorce or separation alone. Our Divorce Recovery workshop combines expert speakers, small group discussion and a time of community with people on the same journey.

Divorce Recovery Summer Sessions

Troy campus | Tuesdays 7-9pm | May 28 – Aug 13 | Register here

Cost: $15
The cost includes a workbook, snacks at each meeting (including coffee). Childcare is not provided in the summer.

You are encouraged to join us on any week. Sessions are self-contained.

Grief Recovery

At Kensington’s Grief Recovery support group, you can find hope and healing after the loss of a loved one. It’s a place where you’ll encounter caring people who can empathize with your pain because they’ve been through it themselves.

Winter Grief Recovery | Feb 6 – April 30 | Orion campus
Winter Grief Recovery | Feb 13 – May 7 | Troy campus (DAYTIME GROUP!)

Find a Grief Recovery group near you: griefshare.org

You are encouraged to join us on any week. Sessions are self-contained.

Kensington Visitation

Our dedicated volunteers bring encouragement and prayers of faith to those who are in local hospitals, medical centers, recovery centers and homebound. If you or someone you know would like to be blessed by such a visit, email visitation@kensingtonchurch.org or call the Troy Campus during business hours at 248-786-0600.

Pastoral Care

Members of our Pastoral Care Team are trained by the nationally known Stephen Ministry program and are compassionate listeners who walk alongside others to provide skilled and distinctly Christian care in times of need. They can’t promise to have all the answers, but they can promise their focused support. To receive care from one of our Pastoral Care Team members, call us at 248.786.0600 and ask for a Campus Care Provider – they can get the process started.

Interested in joining our Pastoral Care Team? Email us for more info.

1 Timothy 3

Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. 8 In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9 They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons. 11 In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. 12 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13 Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. 14 Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, 15 if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. 16 Beyond all question, the mystery from which true godliness springs is great: He appeared in the flesh, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in glory.

Other Helpful Passages:
Ephesians 4
1 Corinthians 12-13
1 Peter 5
2 Timothy 2:2

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Before the Last Resort

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Vertical Marriage

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Secrets of Sex and Marriage

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Men Only/For Women Only

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Smart Step Family

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101 Questions To Ask Before You Get Engaged

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Children's Programming During Services

Troy

5pm | 12/23
Birth–PreK programming

7pm | 12/23
Birth–PreK programming

11am | 12/24

Birth–PreK programming

1pm | 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

3pm | 12/24

Birth–PreK programming

5pm | 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

Orion

5pm | 12/23
Birth–PreK programming

7pm | 12/23
No children’s programming

11am | 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

1pm | 12/24
Birth–PreK and Elementary programming

3pm | 12/24
Birth–PreK and Elementary programming

5pm | 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

Clinton Twp

5pm | 12/23
Birth-PreK and Elementary programming

7pm | 12/23
Birth–PreK programming

11am | 12/24
Birth-PreK and Elementary programming

1pm| 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

3pm| 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

Birmingham

11am | 12/24
Birth-PreK programming


1pm | 12/24
Birth-PreK programming

Traverse City

2pm | 12/24
No children’s programming

4pm | 12/24
Birth–PreK programming

Clarkston

10am | 12/24
Birth-PreK and Elementary programming

12pm | 12/24

Birth-PreK programming

Marriage and Blended Family

The Marriage Course offers essential tools and practical ideas to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. Strengthen your communication and gain a deeper understanding of your partner. The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles but designed for all couples with or without a church background.
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The Blended Family Workshop addresses the confusing roles and boundaries involved in blending families and identifies why parents so often struggle in blending their efforts. Find a community of people who are contemplating blending a family or are “in the trenches” building and growing their blended family!
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Spiritual Formations

Discover rhythms and practices that can help us abide in the love, grace, and hope of God, where our lives can be transformed. Explore some of these practices together with others who are pursuing the same. To find out more, please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org.

Birmingham Campus

We are offering a time for our congregation to gather after the 10am service for prayer in the Groves Auditorium, 20500 W 13 Mile Rd, Beverly Hills, MI 48025.

On Sunday evening, Dec 5, parents of high school and middle school students are invited to the second half of our Edge gathering at Genesis Church, 309 N Main St, Royal Oak, MI 48067, at 6:15pm. We will have a breakout to equip parents in caring for themselves and processing pain with their children in times of tragedy.

Parents & Student Resources

Parents – self care is critical. It’s important to do your own processing with another adult so that you can be more present as your child processes. Here are tools that you can use to get you started.

Podcast

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Counselors Are Needed After Tragedy

“The aftermath of the Oxford shooting tragedy will undoubtedly result in traumatic symptoms and experiences across our communities for quite some time. Healing the brain through evidence-based therapies is absolutely possible with clinical guidance. There is a valuable village of Trauma Therapists with collective resources standing by for Oxford, for both direct and secondary survivors to engage in therapy. Until then, we honorably hold a sacred space, as students, families, staff and school partners continue to mourn.” -Laura Azoni, LMSW, Founder of Sanctuary Services

Orion Campus

We believe that unity at this time is more important than ever. Several churches in the area are partnering together to offer space for students to begin the process of healing.

We will have several grief and trauma specialists on site this Sunday evening at our Orion Campus (4640 S Lapeer Rd Lake Orion, MI 48359) from 5-6:30pm and will have a night of prayer, worship and an opportunity for students to process with each other.

Tate Myre Funeral:
Monday, 12.6 Visitation 1 to 8pm
Tuesday, 12.7 Visitation 10-12pm and funeral at Noon

Clinton Township Campus

We will be offering a time for our congregation to gather after each service for a time of corporate prayer in the Greatroom. Prayer will be offered at 10:15 am and 12:15 pm. (25000 Hall Rd, Charter Twp of Clinton, MI 48036)

This Sunday at 3:30 pm as a community we want to gather, pray and mourn together. We are all looking for answers and wondering why tragedy happens but we can find hope and peace in Jesus. 

Troy Campus

Join us Sunday night, December 5th for a Community Prayer Vigil at Kensington Church at 6:00 pm. Invite friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers to come together for a time of hope and prayer. 

Following the Vigil, at 7:00 pm, there will be breakouts for students and for parents to process and be equipped in caring for themselves and those around in times of tragedy.

Marriage Classes

What grows marriages? Focusing on the two of you and being in community!
The Marriage Course includes seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. Some couples do the course to intentionally invest in their relationship, others are looking to address more specific challenges. Either way, the course offers essential tools and practical ideas to help you build a relationship that lasts a lifetime. The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles but designed for all couples with or without a church background.

Please email marriage@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

Financial Compass

Financial Compass is designed to help you discover the freedom found in wisely managing the resources God provides. To find out more, please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org.

Bible Basics

Whether you are brand new to the Bible or have been reading it for decades, Bible Basics is a course that will help you understand the overall flow of the Bible. Over the course of several weeks, learn how the Bible came from the original writers to the English versions we have today. We’ll look at the big-picture story of the Bible and how all the individual books add to the whole. We’ll even learn a little about the history of the Jewish nation. But most of all, we’ll grow in our awe of the amazing author of this amazing book!

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

Clarkston

Clinton Twp

Orion

Troy

Alpha

What is my purpose? What value does the Bible have in my life? How do I pray? How can I grow in confidence to share my faith? These are the big questions that are at the heart of what it means to have a relationship with God. Alpha is a space to explore life’s big questions, to say what you think and to hear other people’s points of view. Over ten-weeks you will explore and discover while listening to weekly topics, participating in table discussion, and developing community. Alpha courses meeting in-person gather around a meal.

You don’t have to come for the whole series—just check it out for the first session and see what you think. No pressure.

Please email discipleship@kensingtonchurch.org with any questions.

Registration coming soon!

Birmingham

Clinton Twp

Orion

Traverse City

Troy

You will then be directed to PushPay for payment.
For additional questions, please contact giving@kensingtonchurch.org or call 248.786.0637

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