Whether your marriage is happily thriving, barely surviving, or somewhere in between, it matters to God (and to us). In fact, the God who conducted the very first outdoor wedding designed us to be in a relationship with our spouses that reflects his loving relationship with us. But how do we get there? Whether you’re pre-married, newlyweds, or seasoned vets, these initiatives and resources will strengthen your most important relationship.
Click here for an article on The Seven Negative Effects of Porn – recommended by Dave Wilson.
Marriage is hard work. Getting help shouldn't be
The truth is that all relationships – especially marriage – are gloriously hard. Yet there’s no relationship between human beings that’s greater or more important. Which is why we’d like to help. This page is designed to give you resources, connections, and real-time help for the toughest (and most wonderful) relationship in life. Check out the past messages and upcoming events, too. Because nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.
Past Messages. Targeted Resources.
We think "Marriage: Why Bother?" is one of the most helpful series we've ever done. You may have missed a weekend or just want to see it again. Click on the links below – each message has its own Study Guide and special tips.
Recommended Reading
Each book on this list has been reviewed by the experts (okay, us). Pick one and read it alone. Suggest one to your spouse. Or even better, read one together chapter by chapter and discuss.
Timothy Keller
Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.
Gary Thomas
What if God's primary intent for your marriage isn't to make you happy...but holy? And what if your relationship isn't as much about you and your spouse as it is about you and God? Everything about your marriage is filled with prophetic potential, with the capacity for discovering and revealing Christ's character. The respect you accord your partner; the forgiveness you humbly seek and graciously extend; the ecstasy, awe, and sheer fun of lovemaking; the history you and your spouse build with one another--in these and other facets of your marriage, Sacred Marriage uncovers the mystery of God's overarching purpose. This book may very well alter profoundly the contours of your marriage. It will most certainly change you.
Gary Chapman
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages. While working as a marriage counselor for over 30 years, Chapman identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Other partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued; holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Psychological studies affirm what the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find. Today, you and your mate can start fresh with this ground-breaking guidance. This revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...or who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...or pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.
Shaunti Feldhahn
What's going on in a man's mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man's rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. This book will open women's eyes to what the men in their life -- boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons -- are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they're afraid to "freak out" the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.
Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn
Are women complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can't seem to figure her out? Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually systematized and "mapped." In fact, much to men's delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please - as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.
Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Learn when to say yes and when to say no - to your spouse and to others - to make the most of your marriage. Only when a husband and wife know and respect each other's needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another. Boundaries are the "property lines" that define and protect husbands and wives as individuals. Once they are in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved. Learn the 10 laws of boundaries that can help husbands and wives understand the friction points or serious hurts and betrayals in their marriage - and move to mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy.
Dr. Kevin Leman
With his characteristic warmth and humor, Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God's plan. This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples. To purchase, click here.
George Kenworthy
Can three simple questions make a difference? Hundreds of marriages have been rescued when couples got the answers right. If you're about to give up on your marriage or know someone about to give up on theirs, this book is for you. Learn how God can heal the deep, hardcore problems no matter if you're ensnared in deceit, adultery, or abuse. God desires a miracle for your marriage. Before you give up, take our advice and answer three simple questions.
Counselors
Sometimes we need a guide to help us through a hard time, and distinctly Christian counseling can be your best investment. We recommend that you interview several counselors before making a final selection. We also believe that Jesus is at the center of any healing process, but it can be helped by a knowledgeable counselor. If you're looking for professional help in your marriage, family, or personal life, look below for a list of counseling centers in your area that we know and trust.
The Great Date Experiment
It's hard to find quality time with our spouses, and when we do, we forget how to make that time fun and memorable. Take your marriage to the next level - go on a Great Date with your spouse, once a month for six months. Think you can't afford it? Go cheap. Too busy? Cancel something. Think this might be like therapy? Think again. Here's how it works:
1. Put a date night on your calendar.
2. Call the sitter (guys, your wife will love it if you do this!)
3. Download a new Great Date
4. Follow the simple steps designed to bring you together & have fun!
Each Great Date revolves around one of six essentials to a thriving marriage. You can download each individual Great Date "guide booklet"
by clicking on it below:
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Big thanks to marriedlifeonline.com. |
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Need some help? You're in the right place.
Marriages can hit some pretty bumpy roads. And for some of us, those bumps can feel like canyons. Just know this: there is hope! Studies show that couples who hang in there and stay married are happier than they ever thought possible five years later. The other good news is this: you have others who care about you and your spouse... and desire to help you through these bumps and hurdles. Because your marriage matters to God (and to us!), we have an army of dedicated volunteers at each campus ready to come alongside you, listen to what's going on, and provide some good light - even when things feel very dark.
If you're concerned about your marriage, have questions, or just need to talk to someone, please contact one of our Campus Marriage Teams listed below. Someone will get back to you soon:
- Birmingham / BHmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org - or call 248.786.0600 x858
- Clinton Twp / CTmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org - or call 248.786.0600 x857
- Orion / ORmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org - or call 248.786.0600 x856
- Troy / TRmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org - or call 248.786.0600 x855
You might also find the following helpful:
Past Messages. Targeted Resources.
We think "Marriage: Why Bother?" is one of the most helpful series we've ever done. You may have missed a weekend or just want to see it again. Click on the links below – each message has its own Study Guide and special tips.
Recommended Reading
Each book on this list has been reviewed by the experts (okay, us). Pick one and read it alone. Suggest one to your spouse. Or even better, read one together chapter by chapter and discuss.
Timothy Keller
Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.
Gary Thomas
What if God's primary intent for your marriage isn't to make you happy...but holy? And what if your relationship isn't as much about you and your spouse as it is about you and God? Everything about your marriage is filled with prophetic potential, with the capacity for discovering and revealing Christ's character. The respect you accord your partner; the forgiveness you humbly seek and graciously extend; the ecstasy, awe, and sheer fun of lovemaking; the history you and your spouse build with one another--in these and other facets of your marriage, Sacred Marriage uncovers the mystery of God's overarching purpose. This book may very well alter profoundly the contours of your marriage. It will most certainly change you.
Gary Chapman
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages. While working as a marriage counselor for over 30 years, Chapman identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Other partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued; holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Psychological studies affirm what the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find. Today, you and your mate can start fresh with this ground-breaking guidance. This revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...or who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...or pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.
Shaunti Feldhahn
What's going on in a man's mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man's rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. This book will open women's eyes to what the men in their life -- boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons -- are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they're afraid to "freak out" the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.
Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn
Are women complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can't seem to figure her out? Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually systematized and "mapped." In fact, much to men's delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please - as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.
Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Learn when to say yes and when to say no - to your spouse and to others - to make the most of your marriage. Only when a husband and wife know and respect each other's needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another. Boundaries are the "property lines" that define and protect husbands and wives as individuals. Once they are in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved. Learn the 10 laws of boundaries that can help husbands and wives understand the friction points or serious hurts and betrayals in their marriage - and move to mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy.
Dr. Kevin Leman
With his characteristic warmth and humor, Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God's plan. This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples. To purchase, click here.
George Kenworthy
Can three simple questions make a difference? Hundreds of marriages have been rescued when couples got the answers right. If you're about to give up on your marriage or know someone about to give up on theirs, this book is for you. Learn how God can heal the deep, hardcore problems no matter if you're ensnared in deceit, adultery, or abuse. God desires a miracle for your marriage. Before you give up, take our advice and answer three simple questions.
Counselors
Sometimes we need a guide to help us through a hard time, and distinctly Christian counseling can be your best investment. We recommend that you interview several counselors before making a final selection. We also believe that Jesus is at the center of any healing process, but it can be helped by a knowledgeable counselor. If you're looking for professional help in your marriage, family, or personal life, look below for a list of counseling centers in your area that we know and trust.
The Great Date Experiment
It's hard to find quality time with our spouses, and when we do, we forget how to make that time fun and memorable. Take your marriage to the next level - go on a Great Date with your spouse, once a month for six months. Think you can't afford it? Go cheap. Too busy? Cancel something. Think this might be like therapy? Think again. Here's how it works:
1. Put a date night on your calendar.
2. Call the sitter (guys, your wife will love it if you do this!)
3. Download a new Great Date
4. Follow the simple steps designed to bring you together & have fun!
Each Great Date revolves around one of six essentials to a thriving marriage. You can download each individual Great Date "guide booklet"
by clicking on it below:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Big thanks to marriedlifeonline.com. |
|
Help for One or Both Spouses
No matter what issue that you or someone in your life is dealing with, our confidential, biblically-based program offers support and hope for the hurts, habits, and hang-ups of life. No fee, no registration, no pressure. Join us any Monday at 7pm at the Troy Campus. Low cost child care is available. Questions? Click here for more information or contact celebraterecovery@kensingtonchurch.org.
When Crisis Hits...
Once in a while, a marriage goes through a crisis (job loss, death of a loved one, etc.), and that's where Stephen Ministry can help. Inspired by a story of the early church in Acts 6, Stephen Ministers are trained, compassionate listeners who walk alongside others. They provide skilled and distinctly Christian care in times of need. They can't promise to have all the answers, but they can promise their focused support. To receive care from a Stephen Minister, call us at 248.786.0600 and ask for a Community Care Provider - they can get the process started.
Let Your Story Encourage Others
Help Marriages at Your Campus
If you're excited about this initiative and want to volunteer at your campus, please contact your Campus Marriage Team:
Birmingham / BHmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org
Clinton Twp / CTmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org
Orion / ORmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org
Troy / TRmarriage@kensingtonchurch.org
Be a Small Group Leader
Small groups are communities of people in the same life-stage who come together to support each other, grow spiritually, and develop lasting relationships. They're a great way to connect folks to God and each other - but we need both new and experienced leaders to host!
To sign up as a leader, click here.
Be a Mentor
For couples who are engaged, newly married, or need some help through a tough season, having another couple in their life to provide biblical guidance, share advice, and listen prayerfully is a priceless advantage. To be a mentor, you don't need to have all the answers (training is provided) - but you do need to have been married for at least five years. To sign up as a mentor, e-mail marriage@kensingtonchurch.org.
You're Engaged! Now What?
God himself conducted the first wedding in the Garden. No bridesmaids, no best man, no rehearsal dinner. Today it's a bit more, well, complicated.
To get you started, we offer a six-month premarital program that all couples must complete in order to be married by one of our Kensington pastors. If you're a current regular attender at Kensington and wish to obtain a wedding packet outlining our marriage process, please contact debbie.popchock@kensingtonchurch.org for our Michigan campuses or
jodi.davis@kensingtonchurch.org for our Orlando campus.
